When the kid to adult ratio favors the kid...

The other day I decided to have Christopher and Sarah do a little P.E. in our family room before bedtime. After doing leg lifts, crunches, stretches and whatnot, Sarah got up and started doing jumping jacks. Christopher joined her and I remarked on how well they did their jumping jacks. Sarah replied, "Yeah, but it kind of hurts when you need to poo poo." Christopher fell to the floor laughing....

One night at the dinner table, the girls were all proclaiming how much they loved chicken legs. "Oh mommy, these are the most delicious chicken legs...I just love chicken legs...Could we eat this every night?...These are the legs of a chicken...that's why it's called a chicken. leg." I broke in and said, "Aren't you glad these aren't human legs? I mean, we would need to get bigger plates." They were all silent for a moment until Hannah (4) broke in and said, "But we wouldn't like human legs because they would taste...disgusting." Sarah (7) then said, "Here Mommy, cut off my leg!" Then Hannah said, "Yeah, cut off all of our legs!" Then Mary Grace (3), in a very matter-of-fact voice, said, "If you cut off our wegs, we would not be able to walk." Christopher chimed in with, "But we could jump!" I tried to explain that you can't jump without legs, but realized that I had lost control of the conversation a long time ago.

Last night, John's parents watched the kids for us while we went to a Christmas party. Hannah got out of her bed and waltzed into the family room where Nana and Pop were watching Andrea Bocelli. Hannah asked, "WHAT is he singing?" Nana answered, "He's singing a song in another language." Hannah then declared that she could sing songs in other languages as well. Nana said, "Well, go ahead. I want to hear you." So Hannah got up into a chair and started singing, "Cock-a-doodle-doo..."

more family funnies...

During our church's VBS a few weeks ago, I dressed up as Peter the disciple after a couple days of dressing up as the lifeguard, Manatee Mindy. When the 3rd graders walked in, they started saying, "Hi, Manatee Mindy." I corrected them and said, "Oh, Manatee Mindy isn't here today. My name is Peter the disciple." Several of the kids responded with, "Hi, Peter", but Christopher raised his hand and said, "Hi, person with a confused gender."

Last Thursday I was sitting with Christopher while he practiced piano, making sure that he was practicing correctly and not skipping any assignments. After he finished his last song, I told him it was time to practice his drills. He said, "I was hoping that you'd let me skip the drills since I played that last song perfectly." Feeling sort of tiger-motherish, I said, "Christopher, your Chinese mother is not going to let you take short cuts. You need to learn the Chinese work ethic." He paused for a moment and then said, "The way I see it, all that work creates a lot of pollution in China." I nearly fell out of my chair I was laughing so hard. But I still made him do his drills...

Yesterday after we returned from the pool, Hannah (4) took off her wet swim suit and the proceeded to play in the toy room. Christopher (8) walked into the kitchen and very seriously asked me, "Mommy, why is Hannah playing naked in front of the doll house?" I sighed and said, "Oh, because Hannah is very absentminded." Christopher responded, "It concerns me that she might want to start a nudist colony when she grows up."

This morning I scheduled a doctor's appointment for Mary Grace (2) because she came down with a fever yesterday afternoon and complained of a sore throat. She made it very clear that she didn't want to go to the doctor, so Sarah (6) jumped in to explain, "Mary Grace, they're not going to give you a shot. They're just going to open your mouth and look inside with a flashlight, like this, AAAAAAAAHHHHH...they're not going to take you apart."

Family funnies

On the way to church this morning, Christopher (almost 8) asked, "What does GOR-met mean?"

"Huh? How do you spell it?"

"G-O-U-R-M-E-T."

"OH, you mean 'gourmet'. That means fancy and delicious food."

-pause-

"Then they shouldn't have that word describing the food at Panda Express."

Appalled but laughing, I asked, "You mean you saw that word on a sign for Panda Express?!? That's what I call false advertising!"

Christopher then said, "In his spare time, the owner of Panda Express needs to try the food at 3-6-9 Chinese BBQ."

That's my boy. Start 'em young, I say.

During church today, I had my arm around Sarah (6) as she was leaning into me. As I noticed her reaching for her nose, I quickly grabbed her hands and held them down in her lap to keep her from picking her nose. Since she was unable to grab those boogers herself, she simply turned her head to the side and wiped her nose on my bare arm. Immediately grossed out, I pulled my arm away and began madly wiping it off with a napkin. She thought this was hilarious and couldn't stop giggling. My apologies to those who may have witnessed this exchange of mucus.

Tonight as I was about to read from the Jesus Storybook Bible , I announced the title of our next-up story about Zacchaeus called, "The Man Who Didn't Have Any Friends (none)". Christopher looked up and said, "Well, he wouldn't be able to have facebook if he didn't have any friends."

This and that...

Cutest thing - I hadn't heard from Mary Grace in a while (usually not a good sign), so I looked in the backyard and found her like this.

Then of course, Hannah and Sarah wanted me to take their picture.

Mary Grace settled herself in...

Sweetness...

Christopher squinting in the sun.

Hannah and Sarah in a sea of bubbles.

MG covered in suds. (yes, that's tear-free shampoo)

While we were away...

John and I just got back from a reunion with our cohort in St. Louis.  I'll write about that later if I get time, but I wanted to quickly jot down some of the funny things the kids said while we were away and immediately after we returned.

After we loaded the kids into the van and kissed them good-bye, Nana (John's mom) told me that Hannah was saying, "Bye bye, Mindy" as they were pulling out of our driveway.

One cold morning, Nana firmly told the kids that they had to keep their shoes on if they wanted to play outside.  After a while, Sarah approached Nana and said, "Nana, can I take my shoes off now, 'cuz my foots are bored."  

After Nana and Pop bathed the kids Monday evening, Christopher threw the towel into the bathtub that was still filled with water.  When I learned of this, I said, "Christopher - what in the world did you do that for?  We don't put bath towels in the water!"  He looked at me and earnestly asked, "Then why do we call it a 'bath towel'?"

When we arrived to pick up the kids at Nana and Pop's house, they were all going crazy trying to tell us all of the fun things they did while we were away.  I then said, "Ok, now I want to hear a report from Nana and Pop on how you guys behaved while Mommy and Daddy were away."  As Nana began to gush about how good they were, Christopher interrupted, "Well, there was some disobedience, but NO consequences!"  

The other day while we were driving to the grocery store, Christopher said, "Mommy, that sign says 40 miles per hour...Pop told me to tell you how fast you're supposed to drive."

Yesterday, the kids and I walked to the playground and Nana drove to meet us there.  Sarah was riding her bike and said, "Mommy and Chri-ofer are walking and I'm riding my bike.  But Chri-ofer doesn't like to ride his bike because he's scared...and Hannah and Mary Grace ride in the stroller because they're babies...but Nana can't walk to the playground because she's old."

Last night the kids went to the Explorer Kids program at our church.  After the puppet show, the teacher asked the kids if they knew of anyone they could tell about Jesus.  She then asked if anyone had a sister or grandmother they could tell.  Christopher raised his hand and yelled, "My grandmother is 67 years old!"

Chinese New Year - Kung Hei Fat Choy!

Today is the first day of the Chinese New Year (according to the Lunar calendar) and it is the year of the ox.  If you know anything about Chinese New year custom, it's deeply rooted in superstition. So in honor of my Chinese heritage but without giving a nod to the pagan roots, we celebrate the holiday by stuffing ourselves with good, authentic Chinese food (well, as authentic as you can get here in Texas).  

Even though the weather outside was miserably cold and rainy, we packed all the kids up in the van and headed to our favorite local 369 Chinese BBQ in Plano.  We stuffed ourselves to overflowing with fish, chicken, pork, noodles, rice, and Chinese veges.  What I love about this place besides the food is that the owners and servers there know our names, what we like to eat, and they converse with our kids.  They got Christopher to say, "Kung Hei Fat Choy!", which is something like, "double happiness fortunes in the new year!"  And Hannah would yell, "Happy Yoo Yeeaah!" everytime one of the servers came near our table.  

As we were packing up our leftovers, Christopher and Sarah wandered off toward the front of the restaurant where the BBQ ducks are hanging in the window and also where two men were waiting for their take-out orders.  I couldn't quite see Sarah, so I asked Christopher where she was.  He pointed and said, "She's over here...inviting these two cheerful robbers into the Chinese restaurant."  Thankfully, the men cracked up laughing and so did we!  I assured him that they were paying customers and not robbers, but he remained unconvinced.  I asked him in the van why he thought they were 'cheerful robbers' and he said, "Because they both had beards and mustaches."  Hmmmm.  Don't know where he got that idea, but it made for a good laugh!

Post your hunch and win a prize!

Well, not really. Unless you consider recognition from the blogosphere that your hunch was correct a prize.

Tomorrow I go in for my 19-20 week sonogram and will find out if baby #4 is a boy or a girl, Lord willing. We know it's either one or the other, but I don't have a hunch either way. I could seriously wait until the birth date before finding out, but I also don't mind finding out ahead of time...to the great relief of everyone around me who wants to know NOW! We found out via sonogram that Christopher was a boy and then waited until the birth date to be surprised with both girls, and it was fun both ways. People argue that finding out ahead of time helps with preparation and gifts, but we are SO prepared either way! Aside from diapers, wipes and other consumables (which are all gender-neutral), we have all the clothing, bedding, equipment, etc. that this baby boy OR girl could possibly hope for. I guess people just want the emotional preparation. John tells me that he needs time to get used to the idea of what our family is going to look like. I'll buy that. It is fun to find out.

So be brave and post your guess in the comment section! You'll find out some time tomorrow whether or not your hunch was correct.

The toy makers have it all wrong...

Think about the most popular baby toys sold in the toy stores. They're plastic, bulky, brightly colored, and probably have some flashing lights along with some music or other noise. Now think about the things that babies can't wait to get their hands on as soon as they start crawling - all of YOUR electronics. Yes, we have toy cell phones, toy phones, toy cameras, and little toy keyboards. However, my kids quickly toss those imitations aside and go for the real thing. You may remember from an earlier post that one of the ways in which we lured Hannah to crawl forward was by putting the cordless phone on the floor in front of her. There were plenty of other brightly colored, flashy toys on the floor around her, but nothing vied for her attention more than that black phone with little silver buttons. So I think the toy companies ought to think about making child-safe toys that look and feel like the real thing.

This is why I can't have any productive 'computer time' while Hannah is awake. I can surround her with the appropriate baby toys, but she plows right through them to turn the printer on and off and then get all tangled up in the electrical cords.


Forget the little toy keyboards...THIS is what I'm talkin' about!

Kung Hei Fat Choi

恭喜發財
Happy Chinese New Year! (year of the rat)

The moment that made my day today

John here. I have to share with you the moment that made my day today. I'm at the Wadley Tower at Baylor Hospital Dallas this afternoon going to meet with the chief of gastroenterology (long story). I'm standing there on the ground floor trying to figure out where I'm supposed to go and whether or not to ask someone at the information desk. They have these nice retirees that man the information desks there. As I was standing there, this big ole guy walks up to the desk and asks, "Is this the information desk?" Yes, sir, it is. Then he asked the following question in all seriousness: "What was the name of that movie with Gene Hackman where they were all on the submarine?" I cracked up! As I left to go to the 5th floor, they were both standing there trying to remember the name of the movie. One of them remembered that it had Denzel Washington in it too. I just got home and told Mindy the story. She remembers - Crimson Tide! I've been laughing to myself all day long about that. That's the moment that made my day today!

p.s. - Ok, Huckabee did much better than I thought he would. Good for him! I'll put up my post-election thoughts soon - and answer some of those comments I got! :)

Chinese moms

Here is a picture of my mom holding Hannah after she dressed her in winter pajamas (this picture was taken in April...in Texas!)

Yesterday, John, the kids and I went to the library together after getting flu shots and then taking hundreds of Christmas cards to the post office (all I have to say is, thank goodness for self-adhesive stamps and address labels!). The morning started out rather chilly, but then got progressively bitter cold as the wind picked up. When we opened the doors to leave the library and the freezing wind hit our faces, I saw this Asian lady running toward us saying, "Oh! The baby! Cover the baby!" Now, Hannah was bundled up nice and snug and I had a blanket for her, but all this lady saw was two little bare hands sticking out of the stroller into the icy cold. So she picked up the blanket on Hannah's lap and pulled it over Hannah's hands. Even though our car was only a few more yards away, she was NOT about to let us keep moving until she thought Hannah was sufficiently covered for the remaining distance!

Now, most people would find this a bit intrusive or invasive of personal space, but I actually found it to be rather endearing. My mom, who has now lived in the States for a longer period of time than she lived in Hong Kong, is still VERY Chinese in her thinking and behavior. What I'm about to say obviously doesn't apply to every Asian individual, but I think it well describes the vast majority of Asian moms. Let me give you a few of my favorite examples...

The year after John and I got married, we went on a family vacation to Estes Park, CO. On this particular day hiking in the mountains, it was raining sporadically and my mom was making everyone put on these plastic ponchos that she got at the dollar store 'just in case'. Well, on our way up to Dream Lake, we passed by this couple with a baby in one of those hiking back packs and the baby did not have a hat on. What started as a whisper of disapproval: "Look at them. That baby should have a hat on..." embarrassingly turned into a confrontation by my Chinese mom to these perfect strangers: "You should put a hat on your baby...her head's getting wet and cold."

The winter after Christopher was born, John went with a group of people to China. While there, they traveled from city to city, much of it by train. According to John, it was standing room only for hours on the train and sweltering hot. So he was delighted to step off the train without his coat on in sub-zero temperatures. That is, until an elderly Chinese woman who spoke no English patted him on his bare arm several times and shook her finger at him!

After we got home from the library yesterday, John told me I should call my mom and tell her about the latest event that reminded us of her. (My mom knows that we get lots of laughs at her expense, but she secretly loves it!) I then began to imagine the conversation in my mind and realized that after a quick recognition of the humor in this story, she would move to justify this woman's actions and then ask me why I didn't have mittens on Hannah on such a cold day. I decided not to call, but I'll probably get a call after she reads this blog post...

This tightly swaddled baby just might pass my mom's inspection.

Johann Sebastian Bach

Tonight John's parents came over to watch the kids so that we could attend a Christmas party. When they were putting Christopher and Sarah to bed, they turned on the music that was in the CD player and Martha (Nana) commented that it was such pretty music. Christopher said, "Yes, that's Johann the Baptist Bach...or maybe it's Beethoven." Apparently when we say "Johann Sebastian" what he hears is "Johann the Baptist." Pretty funny.

The Carrot Cake Diet

"Lose weight by eating carrot cake!" That is going to be the theme of my first book, which I'm sure will net me several million dollars. You see, last night we went over to our friend's house (Patrick and Kristen). Kristen had a made a homemade carrot cake, and not wanting to be either rude or unappreciative of her labors, I had a slice. It was the only right thing to do. She mentioned in passing that the calorie info was in her cookbook. When we got home, I called her and had her look it up. 650 calories! I had a lot of leftover calories at the end of the day - but I was shocked at the number. Yet this morning, lo and behold, I lost another pound. Which leads me to my groundbreaking discovery: The Carrot Cake Diet! Keep your eyes peeled on Amazon!

Over-obedience

I finally found a verse in the Bible this morning that I have no problem obeying. In fact, I probably over-obey. Psalm 63:5a says, "My soul will be satisfied as with rich and fat food." :-) Actually, I'm happy to report that the scales told me this morning that I've dropped 10 pounds over the past three weeks. Progress!

A Texan's Map of the United States

(Click on the map to enlarge)

a blog of vital importance

I want to tell you about "the extraordinary wit and delectable prose" of Evanda Remington. Our good friend and former church member Evanda Remington has begun a self-described "blog of vital importance". Mindy and I love it.

We find the subtitle, "a blog of vital importance", very funny for two reasons. First, it is self-contradictory. Blogs are by nature not vitally important. They are passing thoughts. Disposable diapers of the virtual world. Second, Ev actually says what most of us who blog want people to think of our blog. Mindy and I have discovered that we have people in Germany and China who read our blog, and we have quite a steady following in England and Australia too. (Go figure.) But we would never be bold enough to say that we want people to think of our blog as "of vital importance". But Evanda just puts it out there for the world to see. So we think Evanda is very funny on many levels. We love his colorful vocabulary too!

I think of Evanda & Shelly (who now lives in Atlanta) every time I see our network server computer at the church. You see, several years ago a fire sprinkler line in the ceiling burst, drenching our network computer in water. Evanda got all our tech stuff fixed up and working again. And he left a little sticker on the network computer which still reads, "Do not immerse in water." Every week I see that little sticker and chuckle.

So visit Evanda's blog of vital importance here, but before you do, let me quote his "about us" section:

Often, someone with a C.S. degree, working in software, and frequently using the Internet would be more aggressive about something like blogging than I’ve been. I don’t care. Writing in blogs is a foolish waste of time, surpassed in its worthlessness only by the reading of blogs.

So you don’t have to read this. In fact, I’d encourage you not to. I’m not writing it for you, chances are pretty good that by the time someone reads this i won’t be writing at all. In the off chance i continue, and you desperately want to know who is behind the extraordinary wit and delectable prose, I shall introduce myself.

I am Evanda Remington: husband, father, christian, software consultant, mediocre carpenter, former mudder, biped, reader of arthur conan doyle and p.g. wodehouse, bearer of a big carabiner with keys, enjoyer of chocolate in small amounts, devourer of pasta, doter upon small beasts, poor shot with a rifle, dictator of evandistan, reliably punctual, wearer of jeans, watcher of modern marvels, fan of the steelers, reciter of tennyson and poe, neglecter of email, and, to my great shame, new blogger.

(HT:Evanda Remington)

Honey Bees in Israel and at Trinity

A local beekeeper, who is a good friend of our Church Business Administrator, removed a rather large beehive from our church property last week. It was a fascinating process to watch. I am amazed at the complexity and order of the decentralized bee colony. Every bee has a specific job to do and does it well, including some bees whose only job is to flap their wings by the entrance to the beehive in order to keep the air circulating. Absolutely amazing. (And secularists say this world is the product of random chance! I don't have enough blind faith to believe that.) I'll try to post some pics of it. Meanwhile, I read this story in the USA Today earlier this week...

JERUSALEM — Archaeologists digging in northern Israel have discovered evidence of a 3,000-year-old beekeeping industry, including remnants of ancient honeycombs, beeswax and what they believe are the oldest intact beehives ever found.

The findings in the ruins of the city of Rehov include 30 intact hives dating to around 900 B.C., archaeologist Amihai Mazar of Jerusalem's Hebrew University told The Associated Press. He said it offers unique evidence that an advanced honey industry existed in the Holy Land at the time of the Bible.

Beekeeping was widely practiced in the ancient world, where honey was used for medicinal and religious purposes as well as for food, and beeswax was used to make molds for metal and to create surfaces to write on. While portrayals of bees and beekeeping are known in ancient artwork, nothing similar to the Rehov hives has ever been found before, Mazar said.

More...

Ma & Pa Kettle Do Math

I'm stooping down to YouTube yet again, but I really enjoyed this one...

Sardoodledom

One of our friends posted this on their blog awhile back and we thought it was really funny. This is from the 2007 National Spelling Bee...

A Dog Eat Dog World

This is a funny video of a dog with a vivid imagination...